Oi...

So yea, it's been a while since I've written last. It's kinda ironic because I feel like there's so much to talk about, but at the same time I feel like I have absolutely nothing to say. Hrm.... where to start?

There's been so much going on in my head lately. I've probably had a little too much time to think lately and it's been causing me problems. This summer has been hard because I feel like I'm at a point of transition at the moment. I don't really have any friends who I can hang out with, and the person I care about the most is on the other side of the world for another 3-4 weeks and we're only able to correspond through letters, each one takes a couple weeks before it gets a response. I feel like a lot of times in my life I'm just waiting to get past a certain period in my life. I know I need to start taking a more active approach, take control of my life more. However, I'm unsure about how.

I'm just starting to get really frustrated I guess. I feel like so long I've been trying to rise above certain challenges and aspects of my life, and for a while I fool myself and think I've gotten past it, however when I come to again, I realize that not much has changed and that I'm still in the same situation. I think it's wearing on me, that I can't just pretend that I'm okay with it, or it doesn't affect me. A couple weeks ago, I was having regular emotional breakdowns at night. I'd just lay out on the grass at night and cry. I don't know, like I said, it's very frustrating.

I gotta head to work now. I'll try to write more later. Sorry that this was just kinda a whinny blog, but meh.

Till next time.

Steff