A Happy Person's Guide To Dealing With Someone With Depression

Do you have a friend/family member who struggles with depression? Are you tired of feeling helpless and just want to know how to cheer this person up already? Do you wish this person would just talk to you and let you know what's wrong? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this blog post is for you.

First, lets start by distinguishing the different types of depression. Depression is not an uncommon emotion that all of us will feel or have felt at some point in our lives. This is normal. However, there's another form of depression that lingers longer and happens to people who otherwise should be happy. This blog is for people who fall into that category.

So you have a friend or loved one... or a friend that is a loved one. Who just seems down all the time. They have a good life. They're employed, have a family who loves them, nothing traumatic has happened to them. Yet this person still seems to feel down. What can you do to make them happy again? How can you get them to open up to you?

The answer is very simple. You can't. Chronic depression is a (and I hate this term) Mental Disorder. There's something going on inside of them that causes them to feel down. Because there's not an event or anything in particular that caused them to feel this way, there's nothing you can do to fix it. Chances are this is the very reason that this person isn't wanting to open up and talk to you about it. It's awkward to tell someone without depression when you're feeling down because there's absolutely nothing they can do to fix it so you just feel bad for putting them in a position where they want to help but can't.

But wait, you can just cheer this person up by taking them out and helping them forget about everything, right?

Wrong. The depression is coming within them which means that there's nothing for them to "forget." Trying to get them to go out will probably just lead them to having to force a smile and interact with people when all they probably want is to curl up in a ball and be by themselves.

So what can you do?

While this will vary from person to person, what I've found that most people with depression want is just to know that people care. The best thing you can do is just be a consistent good friend (i.e. not just a fair weather friend and not just readily available in crisis). Chances are this person is just having a depressive episode and just needs to let it take its course and relieve the emotional pressure. The best thing you can do for them is just care and be there when they need you.

Depression is not a choice people make, and for some people it's just something they have to learn to live with. This doesn't make them a broken person nor does that mean that they can't be a happy person. Depressed people just need what everyone needs - love :)

Steff